There’s a reason for the last couple of days

Posted: September 3, 2013 in Ramblings
Tags: , ,

There’s not be anything here for a couple of days, and this is after almost constant posting by yours truly.  Why is that?  Well, three things actually.  First, I just felt awful Sunday, so I skipped it.  I didn’t figure anyone would begrudge me that.  Yesterday was my 40th birthday, so I was tied up with family showing me how awesome I am.  I’m really OK with that as well.

Reason number three was a new project I started.  It kind of ties into the whole ADHD thing in a number of ways.  That was a young adult novel I started called Twig.  It’s the story of a young man called “Twig” who suffers from ADHD, who finds himself in a world devoid of adults.  His ADHD, which has lead him to explore a number of topics through his young life, is the secret to he and his friends surviving a new world.  I start this project with mixed emotions because of the simple fact that my ADHD also lead me to lose contact with the person the book will be dedicated too.

Her name was Kim Layfield.  Yes, I said was.  She’s gone.  On May 31, 2012, she was sitting in the Cafe Racer in Seattle, Washington when a man entered the cafe.  He was asked to leave.  As he reached the door, he turn around and pulled out two semi-automatic pistols and began firing.  Kim Layfield, who was one of the most wonderful people I have ever been blessed to know, was shot and killed.

I had lost touch with Kim ages before.  Pre-internet, it was pretty easy to do.  One day, while up late, I started googling friends from high school.  Low and behold, I had found the website for an independent movie she had been in.  I emailed the director, begging him to pass along my contact info to Kim.  I explained that we went to school together and that I wasn’t some creepy stalker or anything.

A day or two later, I got an email from Kim.  It was great!  You see, Kim was a unique person.  A stunning beauty, she never really acted like it.  She was a regular person who preferred the company of the less than popular.  We were, as she once described it, real.  She had hung out with the popular crowd when she dated one of them, and she was less than impressed.  She was in Seattle then, but looking to move to Los Angeles to pursue her acting career.

The next time she was in town, she met up with my family to have dinner.  It was amazing seeing her, but that was the last time I laid eyes on her.  We were friends on Facebook, but keeping up with her became trickier.  A three hour time difference makes it difficult.  However, it really was the fact that this is something we ADHD people often do.  Many of us just don’t call to check up on folks.  We don’t.  If there is a real cruelty to ADHD, it’s that.  The fact that I don’t meant I lost so many more conversations with Kim.

So, when I started this book, I decided to base a character off of Kim.  I’m having to make up flaws to make her believable, and damned if I can remember her having any.  My memory of her is that of a perfect creature.  I told her mother that at Kim’s funeral.  She was quick to say Kim had her flaws, and I don’t doubt it.  The problem is, I don’t remember them.  I can’t for the life of me.  So, I’m going to make some of them up.

I can’t go back to call her and see how she’s doing, but maybe I can at least atone for that lapse in my own soul.  I only wish I could do more to let her know how special she was to all of us.


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